


Trust is Earned

by sadieHD



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Family Feels, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 19:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18556597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadieHD/pseuds/sadieHD
Summary: "It had been a rough couple of days. He didn’t sleep well sober, and withdrawal certainly didn’t help with that. He found he couldn’t even close his eyes these days without picturing either Alex’s fear or Penelope’s disappointment.He wasn’t really up for facing either of those head on tonight."Alex hasn't told Penelope everything that happened when he found Schneider passed out in the laundry room. How does she react when she finds out Schneider hurt her kid?





	Trust is Earned

**Author's Note:**

> Penelope's reaction to Schneider getting physical with her kid seemed pretty minimal. What if that's only because she hadn't found out about it yet?

“I’m really, really sorry,” Schneider moaned into the toilet for the twenty millionth time that night, reaching for the handle to flush the toilet. Arigato, the voice hummed pleasantly. 

A smirk tugged Penelope’s lips. “Are you talking to me or the toilet? Because honestly, she doesn’t seem to mind.” Her smile evaporated as he vomited the water she’d managed to get him to drink. She crouched down, throwing a towel over his back and put a hand on his neck, checking his pulse. 

He was hunched over the toilet, holding onto the rim for dear life to keep himself upright, his head practically in the bowl. His half naked body was shaking almost violently. He’d given up wearing a shirt after the 7th or 8th shirt he’d sweat through. He’d lost count. 

“You,” he grunted. His mouth hung open when he wasn’t talking, a sour mixture of spit and vomit dribbling freely into the toilet. “I’m talking to you.” 

His pulse was a lot faster than she would like, but not alarmingly so. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t mind either.” She dabbed his face with a towel, cleaning up some of the drool. She reached for another bottle of water, coaxing him to drink. He followed her orders mindlessly. 

He was silent for a moment and let her tend to him. “What time is it?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Truth be told, she didn’t know. Last time she checked, around 2 am, but that could’ve been hours ago for all she could tell. 

He rested his head on his arm. He looked so weak. “You should get some sleep.” 

“I said don’t worry about it,” she insisted. 

He looked up at her. His pupils were dilated. His eyes had been hazy the past few hours, but when he looked up they were clear and bright, the way they usually were. “Pen.” It sounded more like a plea than anything else. 

She sighed. She couldn’t deny that earnest look of his. “Dr. B’s letting me come in late tomorrow. He knows how big of a deal this is,” she reminded. “He knows how dangerous these first 24 hours are.” 

With that he let his head fall down onto his arm again. “Pen, I’m so sorry.” 

A few more dry heaves and half a dozen water bottles later, Schneider could stand. It seemed to be the last of it, for now. He threw on a robe and tried to help Penelope pick things off the floor of the bathroom. When he stumbled, she swatted at him. “I got it,” she insisted. He stood above her for a bit, pouting, before she motioned him to get the trash can. He just wanted to help. 

They walked into the living room, Penelope unafraid to yawn widely. “Do you want something to eat?” Logistically, she knew Schneider was as weak as a newborn deer--he could barely stand. But the look he gave her made the hair on the back of her neck rise. “Got it, got it, alright, point taken. Geez.” 

She collapsed on the couch, not letting her eyes close until she felt his weight shift the cushions as he sat next to her. She reached out and rubbed his leg in a soothing rhythm. He needed sleep. They both did. 

“Pen, I can’t thank you enough for this. You really don’t have to be here.” She picked her head up to look at him. He was gazing down towards his feet. “I’ve gone through this before. I can handle it by myself,” he muttered.

She winced wondering just how many times he’d had to go through this by himself. Sure, he’d been to rehab five times. But how many times had he tried to quit without anyone there to support him? How many times had he gone through this alone? Quitting cold turkey was dangerous, especially with some of the other substances she vaguely remembered him mentioning. “Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to,” she said, shifting to take his hand. “I’m here.”

Schneider looked up at her, grief, guilt, and sadness whirling through those too-dark eyes. “Thank you,” he murmured. He looked down at their interlocked hands, blinking slowly and tightening and loosing his grip, as if testing to see if she was really there. “I can’t believe I did this. I let this happen.” He shook his head. “And you’re sure Alex is okay?” 

Penelope squeezed his hand. “He’s fine. I checked up on him. He’s strong, he’ll make it through this.” She gave him a pointed look. “So will you.” 

Schneider nodded, his concerns not at all alleviated. “Okay, but you’re sure? I know he bruises easy and-”

“He’s stronger than you give him credit for!” Penelope interrupted. “No, I don’t love that you put him in that position, but at least you didn’t get physical. He knows you love him.”

Schneider’s heart dropped. Alex hadn’t told her. Penelope didn’t know that he’d hurt her baby yet. He pulled his hand away, his eyes wide. 

“Schneider?”

He’d already slashed his standing with her down to almost nothing. She didn’t trust him anymore. What was she going to do when he told her this? He wouldn’t blame her if she picked up her family and left. She had a history with a violent addict. To protect her family she cut ties with her husband. As much as Schneider loves them, he’s just their landlord. 

“Pat?”

He didn’t know what he would do if the Alvarez’s were out of his life. But he knew he’d do anything before he hurt any of them again. 

He swallowed. He just needed to get it over with quick, like a bandaid. “Pen, when Alex found me in the laundry room I tried to stop him from calling you.” 

He had to pause for a moment. His leg had started bouncing agitatedly again. The movement of the cushion made her curls bounce slightly. Her big brown eyes stared up at him, silently urging him on. He took in the sight of his best friend one last time before continuing. He wasn’t sure if he was going to get the chance again. 

He closed his eyes. “I shoved Alex, Pen.” 

When she said nothing, he snuck a peak at her. She looked the same, unmoving. Suddenly, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “I swear I didn’t mean to. I didn’t realize what I was doing. All I knew was that I couldn’t let you guys find me like that. It was bad enough that he had to. It was stupid and I’m sorry and I really can’t believe I did that I think I scared him and I’m so so so fucking sorry Pen I’ll do anything just please don’t leave I lo-”

“Quiet.” She cut him off with a voice that was somewhere between a low whisper and a harsh command.

It felt like a knife in his gut. 

He hated the bitter taste of every word on his tongue. They were just excuses. He was still somewhere between Schneider the Addict and Schneider the Recovering Addict. He wasn’t lying, but he was doing everything he could to save his sorry ass. He wished Sober Schneider could swipe some of those self preservation skills. 

Well. Too late for that. 

Schneider sat frozen on the couch as Penelope stood up swiftly. The eyes that bored down on him were cold and dark. Those weren’t the eyes of the bubbly woman who’d given color to his life. They were the eyes of the strong woman looking at a person who’d hurt her son. 

She turned and left without a word. Schneider watched her leave without the energy to even think about how much he wanted a drink. 

-

For three days the kids didn’t hear a word from Schneider. She hadn’t explicitly told him not to come around, but he seemed to realize that she needed space. 

Lydia had been up when Penelope came back that night. She tensed when told what had happened between him and Alex, but she was a lot calmer than Penelope had expected. To be fair, Penelope had half expected her mother to storm upstairs and strangle Schneider to death. 

Instead, she unclenched her fists and took Penelope’s face in her hands. “Ay, Lupita,” she said. “He is no Victor. Trust.” 

Penelope scoffed, trying to ignore the tear crawling down her cheek. “What happened to ‘we only forgive once?’” 

Lydia had said nothing. She merely kissed her daughter on the forehead and hummed at her to go to bed. 

The next morning the kids were not as easily abated. Despite any and all questions, Penelope would quickly change the subject. Elena was quick to argue, but even the captain of the debate team couldn’t get her mom to talk. Alex frowned at her silence, but left the fighting to his sister. Lydia blessedly said nothing to them, similarly ignoring their pestering. Penelope didn’t wasn’t even sure what she thought, and she certainly didn’t want to get her kids any more involved than they had to be. 

Luckily, with Schneider isolating himself upstairs, they didn’t have to be involved at all. 

After work she slipped upstairs to check on him. He needed help and she was a nurse. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she would continue to help him, she just wasn’t sure how much yet. 

Penelope hadn’t really gotten to know Schneider until he was five years sober. She’d always taken his sobriety for granted, despite their first meeting. She should’ve been wary, she supposed, considering how recent her history with Victor had been, but she had, in a way. Schneider, at that point, was already used to walking around her house. He’d been keeping her mom company for years (or was it the other way around?), so in a way he was more comfortable than she was in her own home. Safety was never a matter of concern for them. 

He let her in wordlessly, allowed her to check his vitals without complaint, and answered her questions simply. She was in and out in under five minutes. He made no protest when she left. As angry as she was at him, seeing him this lifeless was upsetting. 

Things escalated when there was a distinct absence at the Alvarez dinner table.

“Mami, where’s Schneider?” Alex asked. 

“Upstairs,” Penelope responded curtly. “Eat your dinner.” 

“Mom, come on,” Elena huffed and dropped her fork on her plate. “You haven’t told us anything about Schneider today. How are we supposed to think he’s okay?” 

“Elena, how was school?” Penelope asked, pointedly ignoring her daughter. 

“Fine,” she quickly brushed the question aside. “Why isn’t Schneider at dinner? He always eats with us. And it seems like he needs us now more than ever.”

“Alex, you?”

“Why won’t you tell us anything?”

“Mami, you said we would all help him through this.” 

“Dr. B wanted to know the name of that one piece at your cello concert.”

“You’re really not going to tell us anything?”

“He always comes to dinner!” 

“Elena, how’s the scholarship search going?”

“Are we just giving up on him?”

 

“He’s family! You can’t just take that away!”

“That’s enough!” Penelope snapped, slamming her palms on the table and pushing herself up. “If you two won’t enjoy your meal, you won’t get to. Go to your rooms.” 

Elena huffed and stormed away, slamming her door. Alex rose almost hesitantly and cast his mother a strange look before walking away. Lydia said nothing as she cleared the table. 

She guessed it wasn’t too much of a surprise that they’d be so resistant. They were passionate--especially Elena. Schneider had been a constant in their lives for quite some time. She couldn’t really blame them for wanting that back. 

It was Alex she was worried about. She didn’t want him to get the idea that someone getting rough with him wasn’t a big deal. She’d had a similar mindset when Victor started falling further and further down the rabbit hole. She’d wasted a lot of time and a lot of tears when she should’ve run at the first red flag. She didn’t want that to become a normal thing for Alex. He’d already seen too much. But was taking away the his father figure the best idea right now? 

For next morning’s check-in, Schneider handed her his phone after she checked his blood pressure. He’d received, to put it plainly, a shit ton of texts from her kids. To his credit, he hadn’t responded. Penelope began confiscating their phones while they weren’t at school. 

She didn’t want to keep them apart. But she had to keep her kids safe. If Schneider was a violent drunk, as long as there was a chance of him slipping, her kids would be far away from him. 

He seemed to know that. It kinda pissed her off, actually, how resigned he was to whatever unnamed ban she’d placed on them. She didn’t know how to handle it. She could handle an antsy, bubbly Schneider desperate for approval or a quiet, comforting Schneider with half-hidden demons of his own or even a violent, aggressive Victor. She really didn’t know this Schneider at all. 

This Schneider’s demons were laid bare before her, for all the world to see. 

The following afternoon, he spoke. “Lydia came up here this morning after you left for work.” Penelope glared at him, hoping the harshness of her stare would mask some of the sadness. “I didn’t let her in. But she stood outside the door talking for a while.” 

Penelope paused a moment before checking his pulse, choosing to store the tidbit of information for later. “Have you had an dizzy spells? Auditory or visual hallucinations?”

“Well, I never actually saw Lydia now that I think about it…” She was unmoved. He sighed. “No, none.” 

“Have you gotten any more sleep today?” 

He shook his head. He was still clammy. His heartbeat was still too fluttery for her liking, but at least it was consistent. His blood pressure was still off but it was getting better. No sign of DT, thankfully, but he hadn’t been drinking that long and he was sober for so long before then. Recovery was a process. 

Lydia knew this Schneider. Neither of them mentioned it much, but Penelope knew Lydia had been with him for his last rehab session. But even Lydia didn’t know Schneider the Addict. Schneider the Addict who had Hurt Her Son. 

When Penelope came back downstairs, she confronted Lydia. 

“You can’t go to Schneider’s yet, Mami.”

“Ay, Lupita. I know you’re scared, but he’s a good man. He’s still Esneider.” 

“How can I tell the kids what to do if you won’t listen to me either?”

“You are my hija, Lupe. I do not have to listen to you.” 

 

Penelope sighed. “Mami, I need to do what I have to do to keep our family safe.” 

“Yes,” Lydia urged, holding both her hands. “Toda nuestra familia.” 

Penelope said nothing. But as she woke up in a cold sweat that night, the nightmares haunting her yet again, she couldn’t help but wonder what plagued Schneider’s dreams. 

-

There wasn’t a long list of people who knocked on his door at 3 am, but he was still surprised to find Penelope on the other side. Schneider swung the door open, letting her in. 

It had been a rough couple of days. He didn’t sleep well sober, and withdrawal certainly didn’t help with that. He found he couldn’t even close his eyes these days without picturing either Alex’s fear or Penelope’s disappointment. 

He wasn’t really up for facing either of those head on tonight. 

“What’s up?” 

“Listen up. Here’s what’s going to go down,” she said, pacing around the coffee table nervously. If it was any other night he would’ve commented on how adorable it was that she was nervous. “You’re not going to see those kids anymore.” Schneider’s stomach dropped. “Every day before you see Mami while the kids are at school I’m going to check on you to make sure you’re clean, and every night we’re going to do the same damn thing. After two weeks sober, we can maybe talk about you coming down for dinner. But you’re not gonna see those kids without an adult present until I say so.

“Two weeks,” she repeated, holding up two fingers. “If I find out you slipped, I-” She broke off, not wanting to think about him relapsing again. 

“Please let me talk to him,” Schneider blurted. “Just five minutes. You can be there, watching us the whole time. I can be on the other side of the room. I just need to talk to him, to talk to him in person. Just one minute. I won’t lay a hand on him, I promise. After that, I’ll do whatever you ask, I swear it.” When she frowned he sped up, like he couldn’t get his arguments out fast enough. She was nervous. He knew that. There was no way, hearing what she’d heard, that she’d let him see her son again so soon. But he had to try. 

If he didn’t, then what’s been the point of these eight years? 

“Please.” His voice was barely a whisper. 

-

They waited until Elena was out with Syd and Lydia was running errands with Leslie. Elena would be pissed Alex had gotten to see Schneider and not her, but Penelope knew this was for the best. But she wasn’t exactly looking forward to that discussion.

Alex immediately ran to hug him, but Penelope grabbed his at his arm harder than she wanted to admit before he could make it more than a few steps. 

He wasn’t usually a hugger, but he hadn’t seen or heard about Schneider for days. Seeing him in the living room again, even if he was hunched a little too close to the door, even if his eyes were red and wet, even if he looked almost as bad as he had in the laundry room, was enough to get Alex to start breathing normally again. Alex looked back at his mother desperately, but Penelope just shook her head, forbidding him to go any closer. 

“Hey man.” Schneider looked a little worse for wear. His skin was blotchy and his collar was soaked with sweat. Alex could make out the paths tears had trailed down his cheeks. Someone had clearly had a rough day. 

Alex had half a mind to ask Schneider if he’d been drinking again, but he knew better. He knew his mom would never let him see him if he was drunk. Instead, he settled for a stifled greeting. “Hey. How’re you holding up?” 

Schneider rubbed the back of his neck. Alex could tell Penelope was shifting her gaze from her landlord to her son, but Schneider didn’t seem to notice. He never looked away from Alex. “You didn’t tell your mom.” Shit. Is that what Mami had been mad about these past few days? Before Alex could respond, Schneider continued. “You gotta tell your mom stuff, man.” 

Alex shifted, suddenly very aware of his mom’s heavy gaze. “I didn’t want her to freak out. I figured you wouldn’t want me to tell her.” 

That hurt. Schneider remembered his words from that day. Alex wasn’t wrong. Schneider hadn’t wanted to tell Penelope anything. He took a breath. “What did you think would happen when she found out we were keeping it from her?” 

Alex shrugged. “I wasn’t going to tell her. I didn’t think you would.” He almost sounded betrayed.

“I can’t lie to your mom anymore. Neither can you. Trust is earned, Alex. I have to work to earn that back now, every day.” He sighed. “Did your mom tell you what’s gonna happen?” Alex frowned and turned to look at his mom. Penelope tried to shoot Schneider a look, but he was still looking at her son. “I can’t come over until I’ve been two weeks sober.”

“What?” Alex took a step away from his mother, glaring at her. “Mami, this is crazy. Two weeks?!”

Schneider interrupted him before he continue, pulling his attention away from his mother. “Alex, please. This had to be done. If she didn’t say it, I probably would’ve tried to stay away anyway.”

Alex whipped around to look at him. “Schneider, it’s not fair! It’s like you said--she’s just overreacting!” 

“Your mom doesn’t overreact, Alex,”

The teen scoffed. “Oh really? Like when she followed me to that concert?” He gestured broadly. Schneider never looked away from him, but he could see Penelope shift. He knew he had to get Alex to calm down. He wanted to talk this through it with him, not upset him. 

“She was worried about you. Turned out, she was right to be.” 

“And then what? Grounding me for four months over a little weed?” 

Schneider winced, hearing his slurred words through Alex’s mouth. The memory of what he said that day comes to him hazy and it hurts a little. When he thinks back on it, the headache from the rumble of the dryers, the whirr of the washing machines, and the lights practically blinding him comes back as well. Worst of all, Alex’s look of disappointment, disgust, and fear. Schneider doubts the nightmares of shoving Alex into the machines will stop anytime soon. 

“Alex, you should know by now that your mom knows better than anyone what a taste can lead to. I mean, I started using when I was around your age.” He spread his arms out, trying hard to spit out a laugh. “Look how that turned out. Can you blame her for being concerned?” 

Alex dropped his arms, letting them swing dejectedly. “I just wanted to make sure I would see you again.” 

Schneider’s voice softened. “I want to see you too. But that’s not up to me anymore. It’s not your decision either.” Memories 8 years ago from when he first started hanging around the Alvarez’s apartment came flooding back of a lonely woman showing off pictures of her baby’s little Papito. He’s been able to watch the Alvarez children grow, and for that he would always be grateful. Comparing the little boy in the pictures to the teen standing in front of him--now closer in height to Schneider than Penelope--was enough to fill his eyes with tears for the upteenth time that day. “You’re older now. You’re growing up so fucking fast.” Flashes even as early as three years ago when he first started taking the hyperactive kid to his games tugged at the heartstrings. “But your mom still knows what’s best for you.” 

“But what if she doesn’t?” Alex practically whined and Schneider was torn between laughing and sobbing. “How would keeping me away from you help anybody?”

“I’m not exactly the safest person to be around right now.” 

“You’re recovering. We should be there for you!” Schneider could see the tears threatening to spill from Alex’s eyes.

He hung his head, but his voice was still firm. “That’s not your job. But it’s your mom’s job to protect you. You shouldn’t have had to see me like that. That’s my fault and I’m so sorry. But this isn’t your mom trying to punish you.” For the first time Schneider let his eyes fall to Penelope for a moment. “Okay, well maybe a little but. You shouldn’t keep stuff like that from your mom.” 

The humor was lost on Alex, who was lost in his own memories. “You’re not like Papi, though.” The pair could hear as Penelope sucked in her breath, but said nothing. “I remember what he was like. Yelling… throwing things… hitting things... “ His eyes seemed glazed as he recounted times too soon. He remembered Elena sneaking into his room while their parents were arguing, hugging him and trying her hardest to keep him from being scared. It didn’t always work, but he hated the nights when the arguments took place in the hallway and his big sister couldn’t get to him. He remembered doors slamming, glasses shattering, and the sound of a fist going through drywall, though he hadn’t known it at the time. The worst was hearing his Mami’s sobs. “That’s not you,” he continued. “You wouldn’t do that.” 

Schneider stiffened, his voice growing ever-softer. “You don’t know that, Alex. Addiction… changes people. Do you think your dad would ever think of hurting you now? Did you ever think I would hit you?” He shook his head, taking a moment and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want to think of all the horrible things he’d done over the years, a good portion of which he didn’t even remember. 

“It brings out the worst in people, Alex. What if I had done more than shove you in that laundry room? What if you were around and I slipped again? What if I hit you? What if I hurt--” Now he had to cut himself off. He brought a hand up and covered his mouth. What if I hurt you? He couldn’t even finish the sentence. “No, kid. Your mom couldn’t take that chance. I wouldn’t let her.” 

Alex blinked up at him, tears running freely down his cheeks. “That… that day…. I’d never been scared around you before.” 

Schneider nodded, though he felt his stomach wrenching. “You have to tell your mom these things, okay? If someone ever touches you, ever makes you feel like you aren’t safe… you have to tell her. She’s only ever going to want what’s best for you, even if you can’t always see it.” 

Alex shifted his weight and wrung his hands. As mature as he was, he was still only a child. 

“I’m not trying to scare you with any of this. But you need to know that your mom… she’s doing the best she can. Her even giving me a chance to see you again is way more than I deserve. She’s trying to balance keeping you kids safe without kicking me to the curb. For that I couldn’t be more grateful. But when it comes down to it, she’s on your side, kiddo. All the way, every time. Don’t you forget it. Not everyone’s so lucky.” 

Schneider had never looked so… small. His emotions were clearly displayed, front and center, just like they always were. It had been endearing before, to see an adult so open, so honest. But now, Alex wished that the guy he and his sister had looked up to like a father-figure was just a little tougher. 

He wanted things to go back to the way they were, where Schneider would come down with his goofy grin and geek out with Elena or dance with Abuelita or joke around with Mami. Alex wanted the Schneider who wasn’t just at every baseball game, but at every practice. He wanted the Schneider who took him to his away games, who lied to Mami about how expensive cello rentals were so he could keep playing without her worrying about money, who could tell when he had a bad day at school and would take him for ice cream, who was always, always there whenever Alex needed someone. 

But more than anything, Alex just wanted to give him a hug. 

Alex turned and practically threw himself on his mom. Penelope wrapped her arms around her son, returning the embrace she knew was meant for someone else. 

His cries were hoarse and raspy, his throat already aching. He hadn’t cried since Lydia first returned from the hospital, and even then, he’d been silent as the tears trickled down. Not like now. Penelope couldn’t remember the last time he’d broken down like this. His wails were interrupted by hiccups as his lungs strained for air. The sound tore at her heart. 

Her little boy was growing up. He was much taller than her by now. His gangly limbs, wiry and thin, draped around her awkwardly. He was heavier than she wanted to admit, but she could still support him as he buried his sobs into her shoulder. She hoped she would always be strong enough to support her son. 

Schneider took the smallest step forward. Penelope still had her eyes on her son, running a hand through his hair while another rubbed small, soothing circles on his back. Schneider stopped himself from reaching out. He’d promised Penelope he wouldn’t lay a finger on him. He’d broken enough promises to Penelope this month. 

Pulling back took more willpower than he could’ve ever imagined. He stumbled back towards the door, reaching his hand behind him for the knob. “Not everyone’s so lucky to have someone as amazing as your mom in their life,” he repeated as he turned away. He barely said it above a whisper, his voice thick and low. He doubted Alex even heard him, but he wasn’t really talking to Alex anymore. 

He nodded at Penelope, silently thanking her, before slipping through the door and taking the stairs up to his apartment two at a time. If he couldn’t comfort the Alvarez’s, the burn of whiskey going down his throat might feel just as good. The only thing stopping him was the familiar weight of guilt settling in his stomach. 

He needed to call his sponsor.

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda all over the place but it's as good as it's gonna get ;P


End file.
